The Nail Gun Massacre Fix
Nail Gun Massacre is a 1986 American rape-and-revenge slasher film directed by Terry Lofton and Bill Leslie. A young doctor and a sheriff seek a killer in a motorcycle helmet who kills locals with a nail gun.
The Nail Gun Massacre
At a construction site in east Texas, six men gang rape Linda Jenkins. Five months later, a person in camouflage clothing and black motorcycle helmet kills one of the rapists with a nail gun. One month later another rapist, Mark, cuts some wood with his friend Brad. As Brad urinates, the killer shoots him in the crotch and stomach. As Mark revs up the chainsaw, the killer sneaks up behind him and shoots him in the back of the neck. Mark falls and the chainsaw severs his hand.
The killer picks up a hitchhiker, then shoots him in the stomach, causing him to jump out of the moving vehicle. He then stops the car and kills the hitchhiker. The sheriff and Doc are called to the hardware store where a young woman was found nailed behind the store. Minutes later, they are called to the road outside of town where the hitchhiker was nailed to the concrete in the middle of the road.
At Maxine's place, the group sees no one at home, and sit on a blanket for a picnic. Hal and Ann go for a walk in the woods and have sex. They are killed and nailed to a tree by the killer. Trish urges Ben to look for them. The killer nails Ben's hands to a tree. Maxine, John and Tom return to the house. John comforts a frightened Trish. John and Tom discover the bodies of Hal, Ben, and Ann and call the Sheriff. They unload the lumber from the truck and Maxine voices her worries of the killer. They also find their nail gun missing.
The next day, two carpenters are working on a house when they playfully shoot at each other with nail guns. When they go back into the partially constructed house, the killer shoots one in the head. The killer, speaking with a distorted voice, tells the other carpenter to think back six months ago. When the carpenter mentions the raping, the killer kills him. The killer then murders a couple making out on the hood of their car, and a family man in a suburban house.
Following the brutal rape of a young woman by a gang of construction workers, a mysterious figure wearing a motorcycle helmet and driving a gold hearse begins hunting the perpetrators down. The masked avenger's weapon of choice, obviously, is a nail gun, with which he (or could it be she?) takes out the rapists one by one. Just who is this murderous vigilante?
Nail Gun Massacre is absolutely horrible by any standards, but provides one hell of a good time for those with a taste for hilariously bad movies. I was laughing so hard by the time I reached the slipshod ending that I didn't even care if it made sense or not. The killer's stunningly lame one-liners alone make it worthwhile. Toss in a couple of painfully awkward sex scenes, a completely inept sheriff, a denim-obsessed doctor, and a boatload of rubber nails and you have yourself a near-masterpiece of pure unadulterated crap.
NAIL GUN MASSACAAAAAAAAA. blind buy turned genius guy, that's me, don't worry it shall be fun, bring your nail gun, motorcycle helmet? Check! This will leave your brain a wreck! A little sleazy leaving you wheezy open that window and catch a breezy. A bonkers plot is sought, regret this read you will NOT!
The nail gun massacrer's voiceover is both hilarious and awesome. I'm glad that put that sweet robot-modulated voice to use with pretty much nothing but one-liners (much better than the letterboxd variety) and maniacal laughter.
They nailed it this time! Hillbilly rape and revenge horror made by, for, and about rednecks. In the eighties, rural direct-to-video horror eclipsed the grindhouses and drive-ins with its unadulterated luridness. The warbled and distorted sound mix adds to the darkly perverse puns that the killer likes to offer up victims. I'm always a fan of trashy ladies of the eighties and this one gives Boardinghouse a run for bad hair and big boobs. Clean your heads, grab that clamshell or big box, fire up the top-loader, and have some greasy fun.
Bubba Jenkins is the main antagonist in the rape-and-revenge slasher film The Nail Gun Massacre. Bubba is the sister of Linda Jenkins, a woman gang-raped by six construction workers, leading Bubba to go on a spree of mass murders dressed in motorcycle gear and with a signature weapon of a nail gun at his disposal.
Nevertheless, his own trauma as a confidant and a witness caused him to snap and seek revenge. Dawning motorcycle leathers and a helmet, Bubba armed himself with a pressurized nail gun and started fatally shooting all six rapists to kill them over raping Linda. Bubba succeeded in that and even murdering their acquaintances as bystanders.
Overview: A gang rape in a small town conjures a serial killing vigilante who wields a nail gun and drives a big golden hearse in pursuit of rapists, construction workers and any other random person. The mysterious man in a taped-up motorcycle helmet dishes out justice, nails and bad jokes in equal measure.
Unsafe viewed at any speed. Chief among the lessons I have learned from watching home improvement shows is that if you want something done right, either you or Mike Holmes from "Holmes on Homes" has to do it. That guy is Canadian, so pretty much just go ahead and get the supplies and tools you need to do the job. If you want to put a deck in your bathroom, go get some hot glue and pressure-treated lumber. If you want to build a moat around your garage, go get a backhoe and a couple thousand gallons of pitch. If you want to avenge your daughter's gang rape, go get a nail gun and a golden hearse. It's just that simple.
The shack visible in the background proves to be the happy home of woman, child and a foul-mouthed and ill-tempered ape of a man. He screams at Mary-Sue for mishandling of the clean shirt schedule, but his tirade is short-lived. Back outside, Mary-Sue is oblivious to the arrival of a man in a camouflaged jumpsuit and a motorcycle helmet. I'm sure the suspense is killing you so I'll go ahead and reveal that this is the nail gun killer who is about to begin his titular nail gun massacre.
The costume for the nail gun killer is just one of many unnecessarily stupid aspects of the movie. They could have thrown a camouflage suit and a motorcycle helmet on a person, but that wouldn't have been stupid enough. They had to put in that extra effort and use a broken motorcycle helmet with a visor that is half-open and taped over with black electrical tape to create a tiny viewing slot. The camouflage suit is also rendered immediately pointless by the bright yellow scuba tank that is connected by a bright yellow spring of air hose to the nail gun. When the nail gun killer speaks he/she speaks with a modulated "demon" voice that sounds like the villain from a bad videogame.
Hey, let me hang up the laundry next to this billowing smoke stack. The ape-man man in the depressing squalor of the shack (there are flies literally landing on the camera lens inside) is still shouting for Mary-Sue's attention when the nail gun killer bursts into the house. I say "bursts," but the nail gun killer walks around like a little kid who doesn't want to go somewhere and is being dragged by the wrist by his parents. Every step and every action seems reluctant. The ape-man yells at the nail gun killer, but the nail gun killer shoots the ape-man with nails and he starts screaming. A nail pins his hand to his forehead and he collapses to the ground. Before the nail gun killer finishes the job, he has something to say.
Not only does this dork in a broken motorcycle helmet kill you, but he has to disrespect you with really terrible jokes right before he finishes you off. Mary-Sue returns to the house with her dullard child in one arm and her empty cardboard laundry box in the other. She steps into the house and finds her man totally disrespected and also dead on the floor. She screams and gags, but we are thankfully spared the threatened puking sequence as she begins a thunderous flight through the woods. Mary-Sue and her child may have escaped the nail gun killer or they may have been murdered. The movie is pretty unclear about that.
After a fade out there is an amateurish credits sequence set to the soothing sounds of the nail gun killer laughing. This fades into a man and a woman rolling around in bed. This scene is about three minutes long and can be boiled down to the woman showing her tits for three minutes and then the man saying "I have to go cut wood." Beneath a leonine mane of 80's hair the tits aren't terrible, so call it whatever you like, buddy. If you make the mistake of watching this movie, enjoy these breasts while you can, as later breasts are ineptly obstructed by hairy man-backs.
The frisky woodcutter and a male companion park their pickup along the side of the road and head deep into the woods in search of a tree. Their gas-powered chainsaw seems adequate for self defense, as chainsaw massacres are generally regarded as overall better massacres than nail gun massacres. Moments after they have disappeared into the woods, a golden hearse arrives carrying everyone's favorite drywall-hanging Goofus.
Boldly steering the '80s slasher film back to the territory from whence it came (namely, the gore-soaked unintentional hilarity of H.G. Lewis' Blood Feast), this vicious, nudity-packed Texas cheapie takes the "have sex and die" philosophy to ludicrous extremes. The plot (what little there is of it) concerns the aftermath of a gang rape at a construction site, with the participants hunted down and poked full of holes thanks to a helmet-wearing assailant toting a high-powered nail gun. Soon the killer decides to expand his list of victims to other townspeople as well, leading the sheriff and a local doctor to embark on an investigation into these hideous crimes.
Released just as the commercial appetite for slasher films was waning (unless they featured Freddy Krueger), Nail Gun Massacre went straight to VHS from the beloved Magnum Entertainment complete with the fantastic tagline, "It's cheaper than a chainsaw!" The first DVD was a homegrown affair with a rehashed, VHS-era transfer as a limited edition by co-director Terry Lofton, but the real home video breakthrough came in 2005 when Nail Gun Massacre emerged as a nice mass market upgrade from Synapse. Most obviously, the fresh anamorphic transfer vastly exceeded what anyone expected given its financially challenged origins and touch-and-go lighting. On the other hand, the mono audio was only as intelligible as the original sound mix which often leaves a bit to be desired. Fortunately Lofton remained on hand to put the whole thing in context thanks to "Nailed," a 24-minute featurette in which he candidly discusses everything from butchery performed on the original script to the real-life romantic fallout from the film's most graphic sex scene. God only knows what his co-director's doing now, but it's great to hear real life stories like these straight from the trenches. Other extras include 8 minutes of various outtakes (with additional Lofton commentary about the film's creation) and an incredibly violent promotional trailer that packs in almost every nail gun hit from the entire film. 041b061a72